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Tatia

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WEEK 3 - HIDING & FEAR
In Week 3 - 5.2.22
Tatia
Mar 03, 2022
I knew immediately what photo I was going to post and then was really triggered by it. Its taken me 3 weeks to come to the point of posting it.🙄 🤣 I have known for a long time that I have been hiding and over the last couple of years have been working on it. In fact there has been some incredible shifts that have happened for me just in the last few weeks alone not to mention the last few years, and it all has in part to do with me no longer hiding any more. No longer wasting my talents and playing small. The fear.... its a common one and still very big and menacing for so many of us. Its about showing up as who we truly are and speaking our truth! Acting in our truth! Being in our truth! I know it stems from my childhood and past lives and feeling the judgment and persecution of having different beliefs from mainstream society. I also know this is one of the big lessons I chose to work on in this lifetime and that I am here at this time because my gifts are needed and hiding them is not helpful or being in service to humanity for which I am really here to be. What was stopping me? Huge fear of rejection and judgement, of not being accepted. I have learned my saboteurs (areas of self sabotage) are, people pleaser and an avoider....I have owned my own business for 20 years as a massage therapist and because I was so reliant on the money and keeping my clients I would conform so they would "not be offended" or "challenged" by what I knew was the root causes to their problems, but what mainstream believes is whoo whoo and I was afraid they wouldn't come back or worse not come back and then go and tell all their friends. I lived in a village where word travels. So I stayed hidden until is was so uncomfortable that I sunk into a depression. Everything in my soul was saying I needed to start living my purpose. How have I overcome it? A journey of self love and self acceptance! The critic in my head gets cut off very quickly now. When I start to hear the nagging voice in my head tell me I am not good enough or starts to criticise my actions, I immediately stop it and tell myself I am doing the best I can. I am feeling into what I need at that moment and allowing myself to have it. It turns out I needed more Netflix time than I thought I did and that is ok. I have also been going to women's circles and healers to support me in shifting the deeply rooted trauma from my body and meditating and listening and learning how to allow myself to find the joy and fun and beauty and appreciate my life in all its contrasts!
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