HIDDEN
I love finding surprises hidden in my garden (I admit this was an older photo, but the photo of my dog and I hiding from the rain didn't turn out) Plus when I first read the theme I thought of bugs hiding in my garden!
FEAR
My current fear has been plaguing me for a long time now, it's the fear of being alone forever and never finding love. The longer I am alone the more the fear grows that I am unlovable, or that I am too fat, I am too 'fringe', too old, too picky, or worse I am undeserving.
I'm scared to want love too much lest I appear desperate, I swing between Tinder dating marathons and vows to leave it up to the universe.
It's a challenge to stay positive, to quieten the negative and often very mean comments from former lovers. Each comment is played over like a broken record a thousand times reinforcing my fears and eating away at my confidence so that I can barely utter an intelligible word around any guy I might like.
I keep trying to be positive, to believe things will happen in divine order, but some days my affirmations echo hollow. I know I must persevere and believe in myself, resilience has gotten me through so much in life. Someone once described me as a little bulldozer that keeps getting back up. So every day I try and have hope.
